This Autos

A real heist is a job that usually requires the teamwork of a few people . That means you need more seats than you find in a Caterham. But no matter what the dirt-ball salesman tells you, a minivan is not the way to go. Just because the new Sienna is "sport-tuned" doesnt mean its "outrun-crown-vics-tuned." What you want is a 2011 Porsche Cayenne Turbo.
The new Cayenne is 400lbs lighter than the outgoing model, so its nimble enough to dodge bullets and make last-second directional changes, a key element to escaping roadblocks. It seats 5 so you wont be short handed, with enough trunk space in the back to hold your loot and gear. Its also a competent off-roader, and if youve ever watched a police-chase on TV, you know these things can go off the highway at any time. As for the slew of wailling Crown Vics? Theyll have a hard time keeping up with 500hp and 516 lb-ft of torque. I dont care what state youre in, no cop car can hang with the Cayennes 4.4s 0-60 time, and its top speed of 172mph will leave any cop in the dust.

The Cayenne is a great mid-size vehicle, good for the smaller bank job, or maybe some precieous jewels. But say you have a bigger payload than that. In Dark Knight The Joker used a school bus to haul off duffel bags full of money. It worked fine, but its not the quickest vehicle out there. Wed want something faster, but still capable of taking every last dollar. Enter the Chevy Silverado 2500HD Duramax. The crew cab means you can take all your cronies with you, and the bed in the back can hold more money than MC Hammer could spend. Plus, the tailgate provides great cover for the inevitable highway shootout.
Jumping from a super-SUV like the Cayenne to a work-horse truck may seem like a step down in getaway power; its not. In stock form the 6.6L Diesel engine makes a moderate 360hp, but turns the planet with 650 ft-lb of torque. But spend an extra $1,500 and your truck can have over 500hp and almost 1000 ft-lb of unstoppable twist. Not only will this truck outrun any boys in blue, should they be silly enough to setup a road block the 5,500lb curb weight and massive torque means youre going through that road block like tissue paper.

Right now times are tough, and jobs are hard to come by, so they say you should take any job you can get. Maybe youre the kind of criminal who prefers to rob banks close to an open Nevada highway, making the escape as easy as possible. Get on highway, mash gas, celebrate once you hit Utah. But what if those jobs arent coming in? What if you get hired to steal some art from Paris most famous art gallery, the Louvre. Even the Cayenne would feel big on those little cobblestone streets. Theres a reason the cars you see in Europe are tiny; the streets are tiny.

As far as the mobility portion, how does a 5.0 Liter V8 with 420hp/458 lb-ft of torque sound? Cop cars arent fast, but theyre faster than the classic Ford rotor-rooter mobile. You dont have to worry about that with the Viano. With a top speed of 152mph, BRABUS-tuned suspension and chassis upgrades, and even optional bullet proof panels, it has everything you need to steal an entire art collection, or a safe full of gold bars a la The Italian Job.

Its a muscle car and a station wagon. Theres seating for 5 or 6, with a huge cargo area in the back. Throw in a healthy V8 motor and you have more than enough grunt to outrun the most modern cop cars. No mamby pamby dent-resistent panels here, this former grocery-getter has more steel than the Statue of Liberty and weighs almost as much. Its like a depleted uranium missile with wheels bolted to it.

It also has something many of todays cars dont; simplicity. Sure the RS6 Avant is faster and handles better. But what happens when the right fender gets bashed in and knocks some silly sensor loose that monitors the mood of the distributor cap? Maybe just warning lights, or maybe a system shut-down. Either way the more complicated something is, the more prone to failure (*cough* banking system). The Nomad is so simple it didnt even come with seat belts. Four wheels and a basic V8 up front mean you can bash your way out of a jam, and back at the hideout you can have "Tank" or "Motor" - whatever you call the henchman who always seems to have a welder - fix it.

If you are reading this post and have never seen the movie Ronin, when you reach the end of this sentence I want you to fold your laptop, drive to a video store and rent it. Now that weve all seen the movie, were probably all in agreement that even on mute Ronin would be a good movie, simply because of the car chases. They are some of the best and longest I have ever seen. A main star of this movie is the Audi S8. Its for that reason that we think the new Audi RS6 by Sportec would make for a phenomenal getaway/transport vehicle.

Its hard to explain exactly what is the Buckshot Racing X2R. Its built by a company that specializes in sand rails, but it has the body of a supercar, and the engine from a Texas Mile contender. Essentially, its a baja racer with the look and performance of a hyper car. Want specifics? It has a 427 cu. in. Chevy motor which, when the turbos are running at 22psi, puts out 1400hp. This car is faster on sand than most cars are on tarmac. And because it has shocks taller than many trees, few obstacles can stop it.

So far weve shown you some wild vehicles to aid in your "job." But what if youre the automotive shopping equivalent of Goldilocks; the Knight XV is too hardcore, the X2R is too exposed and the RS6 doesnt have enough seats. Well, German tuner ABT Sportline has just the thing for you. Called the ABT Sportline AS7, its an Audi Q7 that has had its 3.0 liter turbo-diesel "improved." Improved in the same way that an AK-47 is an "improvement" over the bow-and-arrow.Originally the V6 clanked out 221hp and 406ft lbs from the torquey elixir we call diesel. But after ABT was done, the Q7 holds an impressive 500hp and monstrous 737 lb-ft of torque. The 2.6 ton SUV can now reach 60mph in only 5.3 seconds. It also has 3 rows of seating, in case you need a small army. Its strong enough to handle any condition, and has plenty of clearance if the escape route happens to include a dirt road. There, happy?

The term "robbery" is pretty wide. You can go into a 7-11 and threaten the clerk with a banana in your pocket (no joke), you can rapel down a ventilation shaft a la Mission Impossible or you can just grab a gun the size of small man, put on a bunch of black clothes, and do a good ol fashioned stick-em-up at a bank. With all the identity theft and computer hacking, I feel like that type of heist is going out of style. To do a job like that, you should have a car with some nostalgia and some balls.
Enter the SMS Dodge Challenger 570, from Steve Millen Supercars. Its an old-school muscle car, but with modern reliability and handling. The supercharged engine gives you 500hp and enough torque to practically tear the door off a bank vault. In the movie Bullitt the bad guys were running in a purple Challenger, but they couldnt shake Steve McQueen in his GT350. Maybe if theyre Challenger had had the 570s SMS suspension and brake upgrades, theyd have had a chance.


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